Tony and I were married at the wise age of 20! You know I’m being sarcastic right? Needless to say, this March we will celebrate 18 years of love, marriage and a lot of in between!
Marriage has been heavy on my heart lately, and out of that, the hashtag and movement, #thegenerationofstrongermarriages was born.
The messages and feedback I received (since I shared a little about our marriage last week using that #) was a confirmation of why God has placed it on my heart.
I will be sharing different blog post on marriage, but first wanted to share a few of the resources that have been impactful in ours.
There are so many amazing resources out there but I wanted to share the top 3 that have really helped Tony and I.
1. One of the most impactful things my husband and I learned together was found on a weekend marriage retreat. He had just returned from a deployment, we were only in our second year of marriage and we honestly had no clue what we were doing. On this retreat we were blessed with the book The Five Love Languages. We took the test and were forced to do the “homework” which was to talk. We learned things about each other and the things that make us feel fulfilled and loved. To this day we can realign a moment by saying, my love tank doesn’t feel very full right now. We laugh but say ok I’m sorry, what can I do to fill your tank. If you have never read this book, it’s a must. If you’ve read it but it’s been a while, it’s time for a refresh. As you and your spouse grow, your love languages may change, mine have.
2. If you’ve ever found yourself praying that God would change your husband, then this book is for you!
I was in my early 20’s when I first read this book. I’ll never forget sitting in the car line at my daughters school as these words changed my life.
To be honest, the book was not at all what I expected, but it was exactly what I needed.
In fact, I’ve recently started reading it again and have given many copies to friends and family. It’s that good!
Before I continue, these books are so impactful, I wanted you to be able to get them right away. That’s why I’ve added the links for you to purchase them here. I hope these links help. Please let me know if you get any of these books and definitely let me know how they help. I also want you to know that as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
3. Last but not least, the Enneagram! We stumbled across this incredible tool at church and I’ve been geeking out over it ever since.
The Enneagram is a breakdown of the different personality styles, and let me tell you, it has helped me understand my husband, myself and my kids in a completely different way.
I firmly believe that this resource will help with every relationship you will ever have. Trust me. I geek out about it so much because it’s such an eye opener.
Knowing and appreciating your spouse for who God made them to be, can really help you communicate on a completely different level but how do you do that if you really don’t know? This helps! I highly suggest this test for families, leaders….OK, every human alive!
“ And above all, never forget that your attitude is more important than the adversity you’re experiencing. Attacks pass, but your attitude, if bitter or demoralized, can grow into a root of bitterness that will poison every day of your future.” ~article by Dr. Mike Murdock
Bitterness is a poison, allow that to really sink in for a moment. We can’t allow that to seep into our marriage. I’ll dive into this more in another post but it’s so vital I had to mention it here.
Anytime you set out to improve your marriage and relationships, you will face trials, bumps in the road, whatever you want to call it. “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10
Let’s be real…humans can be hard to deal with. So it’s no wonder why, living and thriving in relationship with one human for the rest of your life, takes work!
So during this time of growing, praying and working to build a stronger marriage, be wise. The enemy will try to use anything he can to stop you dead in your tracks. He will use resentment, a difference in beliefs, past and present hurts, offense and unmet expectations to cause division between you and your spouse.
Allowing your top priorities to get out of alignment, entertaining negative thoughts towards your spouse or allowing yourself to become close to anyone of the opposite sex are some red flags too!
My point is, don’t be afraid, be wise. Don’t try to do this without God’s help. It isn’t going to be easy, it will take work, BUT it will also be worth every single moment you invest.
You can do this friend!
In future posts I will continue to share more on marriage from my perspective. I also plan to have some guest writers share as well.
Thank you for taking this journey with us and committing to creating a stronger marriage.